 |
This week was crazy. It was awesome. Also slightly stressful as I continued the work of taking over Langen and being a grown up missionary. Also sorry if I didn't respond to your email last week, I had virtually no time! I still love you!
This week we went on split with our Zone Leaders. I headed up to Offenbach with Elder Allan. He's a really really cool missionary. I look up to him a lot. Also he likes Twenty One Pilots. Big plus haha. But we seriously had a lot of fun and a good split. Had a few appointments where we spent the entire time trying not to argue with a man who wanted nothing but to argue about the divinity of Christ. That was a whirlwind.
We also had Zone Conference and I learned a LOT about using our time more effectively as missionaries. Learned a lot about goal setting and planning that I'm super excited to apply and take my missionarying to the next level. Super stoked. It was awesome. Our leaders are awesome.
So Simone is doing fantastic. He had a baptismal interview this Monday with the Zone Leaders and passed with flying colors. He is absolutely amazing and is right on track for his baptism this Saturday. He is so excited. He's been counting down the days. We have all the plans for the
Baptismal service planned. All is on track. I'm super excited for him. Will definitely take lots of pictures. He's so ready. Ahhhh!!!
K so time for the really long spiritual thought:
I have learned a lot about weaknesses out here in my mission. A LOT. I have never been more painfully, clearly aware of my personal shortcomings and inadequacies. I've been pushed to my limits and forced out of my comfort zone. I have struggled. And I have grown. There are a lot of things I've learned while serving my mission, but one of the greatest things I've come to understand is my relationship with my weaknesses.
I've learned that weaknesses are not to be ashamed of.
I am weak. You are weak. Every single human being is weak. We all have shortcomings. We all fail, we all struggle. We get tired, cranky, and angry. We battle addictions, pride, and laziness.
"27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." - Ether 12:27
But unlike sin, weaknesses are not necessarily bad things. Sin draws us away from God and requires Repentance to overcome. But this scripture says that God GIVES us weaknesses. Weaknesses can be gifts. And we don't repent from weaknesses. We cannot simply tell God we are sorry and expect him to take them away. Weaknesses are not sins, and so we cannot repent of them. When we sin, and repent, God grants us forgiveness to overcome it. But with weaknesses, he doesn't offer us forgiveness, but Grace. He offers us strength.
God doesn't just take away our weaknesses when we ask him to. Sometimes he may, but what I've found is that the vast majority of the time, he does not. He offers us grace, which enables us to do things we normally would not be able to maintain or do on our own. (See Bible Dictionary Grace).
We need not be ashamed of or weakness. It comes from God. He EXPECTS us to be weak because he made us that way.
I wish I had understood this concept sooner, and it would have saved me a lot of pain. I spent a lot of time feeling really bad about myself because of my weaknesses. I didn't like talking to people, but I knew I should be better. I felt like I needed to be more focused, but I struggled. I needed to love people, and I knew it, but I didn't feel like I was progressing, no matter how much I prayed and tried. I knew I could be better. I knew I SHOULD better. But I couldn't do it, and I felt like I was letting God down. I felt like I wasn't good enough. I felt really inadequate.
But I was confusing my weakness for sin. There is nothing wrong with being awful at talking to people. Or with being afraid or awkward. There is no commandment that says "thou shalt not be awkward". I wasn't sinning, I was just weak. But I was beating myself up for it. But it's okay to be weak. Now I don't feel bad about being imperfect. I simply do what I can.
But I've also learned that we cannot wait for our weaknesses to become strengths to act.
Towards the end of the second book of Nephi, at the end of his life, Nephi writes:
"ye shall know that I have been commanded of him to write these things, notwithstanding my weakness."
Nephi still considers writing as a weakness of his. I know I've shared this previously but it's really important to me. Nephi still, at the end of his life, believes he is weak. But he is NOT a poor writer. He is one of my favorite writers ever. But he can't see it. But he also trusts the Lord enough to write anyway. Maybe he spent a lot of time thinking and rephrasing as he wrote. Maybe it wasn't easy for him. But he did it anyway. He did something that he thinks he sucks at and simply trusted God that it would be good enough. He trusted him to make his weakness into a strength whether or not he could see his strength.
We cannot wait for our weaknesses to become strengths before we act. We must trust. We must do what we can. Set small goals. Baby steps. Trust the Lord enough to do something you are bad at and expect him to help it work out. Have faith.
Don't be ashamed of who you are. You are a child of God. You are also human. God knows this. Jesus Christ knows this. He sent us here to learn and improve. We could not learn nor improve if we were already perfect. He understands we will fail. That we aren't good at things. That we have weakness. That we are human.
And he loves us nonetheless.
God won't shame you for your weakness. He doesn't tell you you are worth less because you have flaws. Heck, he even GIVES you flaws so that you can rely on him more. Trust him more. Have faith in him.
So if Jesus Christ doesn't think any less of you because of your weaknesses, you certainly shouldn't think less of yourself. Christ suffered all our pains. All our weaknesses. He knows. He understands. He loves you. Don't beat yourself up for being human. Just do what you can. Don't avoid your weaknesses, work on them! Make progress! Take it one step at a time. Lift where you can and don't be ashamed of it. You don't have to contribute everything to contribute something. Recognize your strengths. God doesn't want a better you, he wants you as you are. He loves you exactly how you are, weaknesses and all.
I've learned that weaknesses are not to be ashamed of.
I am weak. You are weak. Every single human being is weak. We all have shortcomings. We all fail, we all struggle. We get tired, cranky, and angry. We battle addictions, pride, and laziness.
"27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." - Ether 12:27
But unlike sin, weaknesses are not necessarily bad things. Sin draws us away from God and requires Repentance to overcome. But this scripture says that God GIVES us weaknesses. Weaknesses can be gifts. And we don't repent from weaknesses. We cannot simply tell God we are sorry and expect him to take them away. Weaknesses are not sins, and so we cannot repent of them. When we sin, and repent, God grants us forgiveness to overcome it. But with weaknesses, he doesn't offer us forgiveness, but Grace. He offers us strength.
God doesn't just take away our weaknesses when we ask him to. Sometimes he may, but what I've found is that the vast majority of the time, he does not. He offers us grace, which enables us to do things we normally would not be able to maintain or do on our own. (See Bible Dictionary Grace).
We need not be ashamed of or weakness. It comes from God. He EXPECTS us to be weak because he made us that way.
I wish I had understood this concept sooner, and it would have saved me a lot of pain. I spent a lot of time feeling really bad about myself because of my weaknesses. I didn't like talking to people, but I knew I should be better. I felt like I needed to be more focused, but I struggled. I needed to love people, and I knew it, but I didn't feel like I was progressing, no matter how much I prayed and tried. I knew I could be better. I knew I SHOULD better. But I couldn't do it, and I felt like I was letting God down. I felt like I wasn't good enough. I felt really inadequate.
But I was confusing my weakness for sin. There is nothing wrong with being awful at talking to people. Or with being afraid or awkward. There is no commandment that says "thou shalt not be awkward". I wasn't sinning, I was just weak. But I was beating myself up for it. But it's okay to be weak. Now I don't feel bad about being imperfect. I simply do what I can.
But I've also learned that we cannot wait for our weaknesses to become strengths to act.
Towards the end of the second book of Nephi, at the end of his life, Nephi writes:
"ye shall know that I have been commanded of him to write these things, notwithstanding my weakness."
Nephi still considers writing as a weakness of his. I know I've shared this previously but it's really important to me. Nephi still, at the end of his life, believes he is weak. But he is NOT a poor writer. He is one of my favorite writers ever. But he can't see it. But he also trusts the Lord enough to write anyway. Maybe he spent a lot of time thinking and rephrasing as he wrote. Maybe it wasn't easy for him. But he did it anyway. He did something that he thinks he sucks at and simply trusted God that it would be good enough. He trusted him to make his weakness into a strength whether or not he could see his strength.
We cannot wait for our weaknesses to become strengths before we act. We must trust. We must do what we can. Set small goals. Baby steps. Trust the Lord enough to do something you are bad at and expect him to help it work out. Have faith.
Don't be ashamed of who you are. You are a child of God. You are also human. God knows this. Jesus Christ knows this. He sent us here to learn and improve. We could not learn nor improve if we were already perfect. He understands we will fail. That we aren't good at things. That we have weakness. That we are human.
And he loves us nonetheless.
God won't shame you for your weakness. He doesn't tell you you are worth less because you have flaws. Heck, he even GIVES you flaws so that you can rely on him more. Trust him more. Have faith in him.
So if Jesus Christ doesn't think any less of you because of your weaknesses, you certainly shouldn't think less of yourself. Christ suffered all our pains. All our weaknesses. He knows. He understands. He loves you. Don't beat yourself up for being human. Just do what you can. Don't avoid your weaknesses, work on them! Make progress! Take it one step at a time. Lift where you can and don't be ashamed of it. You don't have to contribute everything to contribute something. Recognize your strengths. God doesn't want a better you, he wants you as you are. He loves you exactly how you are, weaknesses and all.
 |
| Me in a not so functional chair in our apartment |
I love you! You are awesome! Keep it up!
Ich habe euch sehr Lieb! Habt die beste Woche eures Lebens!!!
Tschüß!!
Elder Harps
No comments:
Post a Comment