This week was awesome.
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| No pictures were sent this week so here is a picture to represent how happy he is. |
You know you say your week went awesome too much when your tablet's keyboard predicts the whole sentence hahaha. But this week was really good.
Long email again! Love you all!
Last week for Pday we went to Frankenstein castle! For my 3rd time! It was cool to take all the new missionaries to their first castle for their first Pday, which was funny because that was also what I did for MY first Pday! It was very sentimental. Just kidding.
Other than that not a whole lot happened!
We got back in contact with William, but it's really hard to stay in contact. He's pretty busy and usually hungover. But when we asked him if he'd read he said yes! We asked him how he felt while reading and he said "I don't really know how to describe it. It feels just really right. Like it's all true" to which we said "that's because it is". He's a stud I hope we can keep working with him.
Soroush is doing well. Trying to figure out a date to get him baptized because we can't meet very often with him. He's progressing really well though, and wants to be baptized.
So! Now that I've had a bit of time to read through some of the talks given at this last General Conference, I wanted to share some of my thoughts on my favorite talk(s).
My absolute personal favorite was Elder David F. Evans' talk titled "The Truth of All Things". In it he shares a story, his story, in which he had a lot of questions and concerns about the church and its veracity. The advice his mother gave him as he searched for the answers to his questions, was this, "David, that is a good question. While you are searching and reading and praying for the answer, why don’t you do the things you know you should and not do the things you know you should not?”. This, is exactly how I received my testimony personally. My absolute favorite scripture is John 7:17, which reads "17 If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself." What this means to me is that simply because we have questions, or lack confidence, or are unsure, we cannot give up what we already know to be true and right. This is a promise, that anybody who is not resounding in confidence in their testimony can be. That testimonies grow, and simply because you don't feel strong now, does NOT mean that you are destined to stay that way. I was unsure for 19 years. But I trusted in this promise. That if I continued to do what I knew to be right, and to not do what I knew to be wrong, God would help me "know of the doctrine".
In the Book of Alma in the Book of Mormon, he teaches about faith in a famous parable where he compares faith to a seed. And he says something really in interesting. Alma 32:28 reads,
"28 Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me."
The phrase I think is really important is where it says" if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief". Every time I heard this I instantly thought about all the people who decide to reject the gospel or belief in God that they are intentionally choosing to reject the truth. But while that's true, they aren't the only people who do that! I did that for 19 years! I felt the spirit over and over at church, at EFY, at home, from the scriptures, and so forth. I was expecting a flash of inspiration that would compel me to believe. I was expecting to suddenly be able to say with resounding confidence that I had unshakable faith! That's not how it works. I was ignoring all these small witnesses telling me of the truth because none of them alone were big enough to build great faith. I was basically asking God to plant my seed of faith, and then as soon as it would get watered by the spirit I would smash it and say "yeah, sure I feel the spirit. But I'm not SURE". That's so dumb! I was asking for an answer and then smashing the ones I got because they were small!
I feel like there is a concept that is often misunderstood. It is this: There is a time in between when this seed is planted and when the seed becomes a hearty tree. There is a period of growth and tenderness, where faith begins to grow, but is not yet certain or confident. Where you can feel "these swelling motions". Testimony is not a night and day flip of the switch. You cannot put yourself down because your testimony is still growing and you don't feel confident. Confidence does not equal testimony. You can and do 'have a testimony' before you feel confident in it. Before it is a strong tree.
It was when I finally grasped this concept that my testimony finally started to grow. When I realized, "You know, I don't know everything. But I believe this is right, and I DO have a testimony, small and shaky as it may be. I will work on this". That was when I finally stopped "casting it out by my unbelief". I accepted it as small as it was and stopped beating it up because it wasn't a tree.
This is what I think President Dieter F. Uchtdorf meant when he said "Doubt your doubts, before you doubt your faith". Stop ignoring what you DO know to be true for what you do not know to be true. Stop searching for cracks and instead recognize the evidence already there. There IS evidence. A lot of it. Faith is not something where you try to convince yourself of something not real. Faith is believing despite not being able to see. It means you see the signs and act accordingly.
For instance, The Book of Mormon. What stronger evidence is there than this divine book? Tad R Callister said "The Book of Mormon is not only the keystone of our religion, but it can also become the keystone of our testimonies". This is exactly what happened with me, once again. Critics are bent on destroying the credibility of this book. There is so much information out there that will try to disprove and discredit it. But we often times take this book for granted and don't even look for the evidence FOR it. How could a 23 year old farm boy with a third grade education produce a 500+ page book in the span of 65 writing days? How could he have written the history of a people with complex names, war strategies, and doctrine? How, if not by the power of God. I'm not going to go further into this, because Brother Callister's talk nailed it on the head. There is so much evidence FOR this book and this church! Once I stopped focusing so hard on whether or not the Book itself was true, and actually thought about what it meant if the Book was true, I got my answer that I already knew it to be true. It teaches Faith, Repentance, Baptism, Confirmation, and the need to keep the Commandments for the rest of our lives. It teaches about faith, about the Atonement of Jesus Christ and about the Fall of Adam and Eve. I thought about these doctrines and the path I am on an realized that I wholeheartedly agree we everything in the Book. There is nothing that can bring me so much joy, peace, and clarity that comes from anywhere but from God. I know this book is true. Because of that, I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, and that this church truly is true and from God. I love this gospel and I love my Savior, Jesus Christ. I know he lives and loves me too.
I love you all! Christ loves you! Have a great week!
Elder Harps
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